Brief Hiatus

I've noticed that video games kinda suck life-wise, so I'm taking a brief hiatus to get a job, a wife, and some kids. Okay, maybe I'll only get the job for now. Maybe a guinea pig. Thanks to the tens of you across the world who read my questionably-misogynistic reviews. Not-so-thanks to the many of you who found this blog because some guy posted a piece of my art to a "monster girl" 4Chan thread and were hoping to find other art of scantily-clad women. ...if you initially found it that way but keep reading because you fell in love with my writing style and artwork, then forget I said that.

Granted, I don't post frequently enough to warrant this kind of update...but dangit, I don't want to lead yous all astray! So, have a fun life, and go outside every now and then. Try bike riding. Surprisingly enjoyable, even if you don't like exercise.

BREAKING NEWS - BETHESDA E3 2018

THIS JUST IN:

-Todd Howard manages to be the only director at E3 who consistently manages to not be cringey.

-Fans are disappointed that Fallout 76 will have optional single player as an online game.

-Fans are disappointed that ESVI's announcement was just an announcement.

-Fans aren't talking about Starfield. Why aren't they talking about Starfield?

-Todd Howard manages to be the only individual on the face of the planet to make me excited for a mobile game AND a multiplayer game.

-That guy from Destroy Build Destroy played a rock song with a very unfitting piano part that went on for about three minutes without any gameplay (?)

-A new DOOM game is coming out with new enemies.

-The Elder Scrolls Legends still exists.

-The Elder Scrolls Online still exists.

-A tall foreign guy forgot his lines for roughly half of the run time of the conference

And, finally:

-Nobody on Earth is going to buy Rage 2.

The JomboMolino Deviantart Page!

I got bored today and decided to try out Deviantart as a venue for some of my less professional art. 

Within maybe five minutes of posting, somebody already was able to find it. And here I was thinking that my Tumblr account was my only hope...months of activity and not a SINGLE view...

If you want to hop on by, the link is right here.

I'm working on a very special review right now...one that requires a substantial amount of time. Judging by the game I'm reviewing, however...it's not unwarranted. 

Tumblr's a lost prospect.

Just read an article about Tumblr's utterly broken search function. From what I've read, the folks at Tumblr have a FROM Software viewpoint when it comes to this. Apparently, blogs on Tumblr don't want to be discovered...so it's "working as intended."

So, it looks like I'm gonna have to rely on yous guys to spread the word! Facebook and Twitter would be viable options if I didn't have to input my phone number, address, eye color and blood type.

To make up for this (basically) shameful act of word-of-mouth advertising, here's a really good song by my favorite band:

Shoutout to The Right Trigger

Quite possibly the only person who's read any of my reviews has a blog of his own! It's called The Right Trigger, and he reviews video games too!

His style is a good balance between funny and informative, and I don't think he'd be caught dead doing an end-of-the-year top ten list with only Night in the Woods.

So, if you're in the mood to read some legitimate analysis of video games rather than watch me complain about how dating simulators don't fill the void in my soul like a real woman would, then hop on over there!

I'm sorry I yelled at you

I was in a bad place the last time I posted on here. That game (Jambo) was just...so bad. You understand, right? I wasn't myself.

...but...I mean, it's not like you're blameless. I mean, you can't even read this because nobody knows about this blog. If you people actually READ this blog, then I might not have gotten so upset. But that's no excuse. We both need to be strong...for each other.




...what on earth am I going on about?

READ MY BLOG, YOU CREEPS

READ IT

I PUT TIME AND EFFORT INTO THIS, DANGIT, THE LEAST YOU PAEDOPHILES CAN DO IS FREAKIN' LOOK AT IT

GAHHAHAAAAAAAAHAAGGGHGAHHGGHGHGGHGGGHGHGAHSLDGAOWIRET2Q3 52Q^#q$&q#$&w#%$&@j!i*

The "I'm So Lonely Reviews" Tumblr blog!

I made a tumblr account for this blog.

Maybe people will actually be able to see it now. Who knows? Anything's possible! :D

The tumblr account will be reserved for updates, links to reviews on this blog, and artwork that I make in my free time (since I'm an artist...fun fact).

If you're visiting from tumblr, then welcome! I promise that I'll have more reviews in the future. Currently, I'm working on a triplet review for three indie games, so look forward to that!

Hope you guys enjoy what I have to offer both now and in the future!

Sketchy Update (not sketchy like "drug deal" sketchy, sketchy like paper)

Well. Here we are.

In case you're wondering why the doodles for my Night in the Woods review are...well, bad, it's because I drew them in haste and forgot that graphite is the worst medium in the history of everything ever (it's also my primary medium that I've been studying for years, yaaaay).

I will fix this with the  ~ Digital Update ~  in the future. My primary artistic medium is graphite to digital, so the only thing I have to do is...well, photoshop over the drawings.

The only reason I have the drawings up here in their current state is because I wanted to get them out there and see how they looked on the blog.

So, in conclusion:

Yeah, I know they look like I drew them in highschool during class. Get off my back, you creep.