*Better designed.
I wanted to
get this review out soon after I played Guacamelee!
2 because I saw that Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation was doing a livestream
of it and I knew what that meant: he would inevitably do a review of it where
he says it’s bad because it’s not Portal and people would think that I only
bought the game because I saw him or some other lesser-known reviewer who did copy off of him review it. Turns
out, my schedule of waking up too late, playing Skyrim and working on artwork for
my portfolio that might actually make a company want to hire me was quite jam-packed.
So, here I am scrabbling around making stick-figure drawings and run-on
sentences in the vain hope that the public buzz about Guacamelee! 2 won’t die down by the time I’ve published this
review.
Anyway,
although I never posted it, my first review I’d ever written was of Guacamelee roughly
eight-hundred-THOUSAND years after it was released. My only gripes with the
game revolved around the love interest, the humor, and the FREAKIN’ final boss.
To summarize: The entire driving force of the story was that an evil being
named Calaca kidnapped el presidente’s daughter (who you’ve had less than two
minutes to get to know). So, yeah, it’s essentially Super Mario. They even referenced that in-game…along with many other references. The first game
was filled to the BREAKING POINT with horrible memes and references that were
significantly outdated even when the game came out. I’m talking about things
like the word “bro,” just by itself as a joke. It was that bad. Lastly, the
final boss was the most difficult gaming experience I have ever had, and I
ended up quitting Dark Souls for a
year after dying to Ornstein and Smough so often.
What
does Guacamelee! 2 do to improve upon
my nitpicks and the series in general? Almost everything. I wasn’t kidding when
I said that this game is better designed than Dark Souls. Every single little kink in the game’s design has been
ironed out like a Valve game. Not only is this game a masterclass of game
design, but it’s also added in brand new
mechanics to differentiate this sequel from the original. With that, however,
comes some new issues, which we’ll discuss in GAMEPLAY. But, for now, let’s
leap into the STORY.
STORY
So,
you’re the same Juan from the first game. You’ve gone from unusually buff
farmer to world-saving luchador to father. That’s right, you’ve married el
presidente’s daughter (who probably has a name…I think it might be Lupita?) and
now have two kids. Now, Juan having a family and living in a world without need
of saving has gotten a bit out of shape has lost most of his luchador powers
from the previous game and prologue. After escaping the space pirate lab,
you see Meta Ridley flying toward Talon IV and…oh, wait…
Lupita
tells you to go pick up some hilarious-sounding Mexican food from town, and
portals to the void start opening up and the goat wizard from the previous game
tells you that you need to go to the darkest timeline to save the “Mexiverse”
from an extremely powerful luchador named (looks up name) Salvador. See, in the
“darkest timeline,” Juan was killed by Calaca (the bad guy from the first
game), and Salvador ended up saving the day. But Salvador then turned evil.
Already we have more of a story than the first game, which I appreciate. With
the first game, it was literally: Oh no, the skeleton man stole el presidente’s
daughter! Go get ‘im and beat his hilarious minions!
Juan
is now in a completely different timeline with alternate versions of characters
we’ve come to know from Guacamelee!.
After a meeting with a couple of the goat wizards from the other timelines (I’m
just now starting to realize how complicated this plot is), you run into the
darkest timeline version of Tostada. Now, if you’re fluent enough in Spanish
(like I am), then you’ll probably notice that I just said, “You run into the
darkest timeline version of toast.” Tostada is actually the name of your female
counterpart, a luchadora servant of the luchador mask that you wore in the
first game. She’s really only there for co-op, but you can choose to play as
her at one of the many save stations. And her name is “Toast.” Remember that.
So,
Tostada then goes “Wow! You must be from the other timeline! Cool moustache,”
and kills you.
You
then end up in the land of the dead, where your luchador mask resides. She then
apologizes for murdering you in one hit (impressive) and the two of you team up
for the road to the next town where the council of goat wizards is meeting. I
hope you’re taking notes.
After
leaping through vines, dodging through enemies, throwing enemies at other
enemies, and learning the flow of the game through one of the single best
tutorial sections in any game I’ve ever played, you end up at the council of
goat wizards. You’re told that Salvador might be after the sacred guacamole. I’m not kidding. That’s actually the entire plot
of this game. A corrupted luchador from a timeline in which you failed to save
the world is deathly sick from the evil power of his mask and is searching for
the realm where Tiempochtli (the God of Time) keeps his sacred guacamole that
he crafted to exist in all timelines. See (*rests forehead on hand, tapping his
desk [which is littered with crumpled up notes]*), Tiempochtli created the
perfect guacamole, but was sad every time he finished eating it. So, he created
a universe called El Otromundo (“the other world”) to store his prized
guacamole so he could enjoy the guacamole in the present, past, and future and
never run out. He didn’t want mortals to consume the sacred guacamole, so he
hid the key to El Otromundo inside three magic relics and (ThANkFUllY) you
can see where this is going from here. Salvador’s looking for the three magic
relics and you have to go to three different temples to get ‘em. Solid gameplay
premise, but not necessarily unpredictable. I was able to guess how the story
would go based solely on the fact that there was this bizarre, fascinating
world that could only be accessed by three keys with the promise of a boss
fight at the very end. I’m not going to spoil it for you because the game’s
just fantastic, but if you’re smart enough, you’ll end up spoiling it for
yourself anyway.
And
you’re off! The game’s given you your purpose, and you’re free to enjoy some of
the most satisfying combat and platforming available. I’m not going to go
through the story further from here simply because I want you to experience
this game in its entirety. I will, however, simultaneously criticize and
applaud this game’s humor.
WRITING
When
this game wants to be quiet and contemplative, it succeeds. When it wants to
simply inform the player of the goings-on in the story, it succeeds. When it
wants to make you laugh…I have never in my life seen anything as hit-or-miss as
this game’s comedy. There were points where I had to pause the game because I
was laughing so much, and there were times where I actively resented the game
for trying to be funny. Many (but not all) of the failures of this game come
from references. One that got a chuckle out of me was a Limbo reference…but
again, that video game was years
back. There was a Castlevania
reference in the prologue. “What is a luchador? A miserable little pile of
secrets.” That was the first joke this game made. The first one. And it sucked!
It wasn’t even a joke! It was just what someone else said in a video game that
was made over twenty years ago! At one point in the story, an old woman is
telling the tragic story of one of the game’s villains via guitar, ending it
with a heartwarming message about loving somebody no matter what. SHE ENDS THE
STORY WITH “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.” DRINKBOX STUDIOS, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
But
really, when this game hits, it hits.
The jokes in this game are FAR superior to those of Guacamelee!. They got rid of ALL of the memes this time around…except
for one optional location in the
game. “The dankest cave,” is what it was called. I remember groaning when
seeing it but being incomprehensibly curious. There were multiple signs telling
me to turn back. There was no ambient music or anything. I entered the cave and
a skeleton told me that I would be trapped there forever looking at meeeeemes.
Now, if that were to happen to me in real life, it would be the single worst
thing that could ever conceivably or inconceivably happen to me, so I was
intrigued. The skeleton pulled a lever and I fell down a pit where all the
memes from Guacamelee! resided. The
best part of this level? All of the npcs’ dialogues are REAL comments from real
commenters complaining about how the entirety of Guacamelee! was ruined by the horrible memes. Normally, I’m not
fond of developers mocking critics…but I whole-heartedly support their
“passive” aggression with regard to those commenters. The memes didn’t ruin Guacamelee!,
they just lessened it.
Now,
this game’s video game references can hit as well, but…they’re mostly miss. I
mean, there’s a luchador poster for “Hermanos Eskelitos” (skeleton brothers)
with Sans and Papyrus from Undertale, a game so praised by the Deviantarters
and Tumblrers that it ended up going the Axe body spray route in driving
mentally healthy and socially confident people without anthro body pillows far
away from it. This was one of the less offensive ones, but there’s one segment
that stops the entire gameplay in its tracks for…TURN-BASED COMBAT. It was referencing
old JRPGs, and the joke wore thin by the time I got to the second group of
enemies. Granted, they partially salvaged the joke by throwing a “Patience
skill increased!” in there, but this was followed up by the boss fight that had
the same time-consuming gameplay.
The
most important thing to note, however, is that most of these references are
optional. The meme cave, the JRPG room, completely optional. I still encourage
you to explore and play these kinds of rooms, though, because there’re two in particular
that made me die laughing and most of
the rooms are worth it.
CHARACTERS
Juan and Tostada
 |
| Fred Fredburger would love this game, by the way. |
Ahh,
the dream team right here. If a friend was playing with me. Which they weren’t.
I was alone.
Now,
Tostada would be my first pick for a romance option in the series. Lupita had
no character in the first game and a confusing, undeveloped character in this
one. Tostada is the guardian of the mask that you wear, and she’s a goofy,
quipping sidekick that would work well off of Juan’s…complete silence.
Also,
she hot.
Juan
is actually a really solid protagonist. He only does three things: beat up bad
guys, save the world, and be a LOVING, PATIENT FATHERRRR and HUSBAAAAND. He
shows through the few cutscenes he’s allowed that he’s a passionate, determined
family dude. The ending of this game actually warmed my heart a little bit
because of his story, something I could never imagine happening in Guacamelee!.
Lupita (el presidente’s daughter)
 |
| Turns out, I gave the game a bit too much credit in assuming she had a name. |
So,
up until the last twenty minutes of Guacamelee!
2, Lupita’s had no character other than being a damsel in distress and a
mother. PFft I mean I’m fine with that I see no problems here seems A-Okay to
ol’ Jombo. BUT! Right before the final boss fight, in a completely unnecessary
moment in the story, Lupita…becomes a quantum mechanic specialist? Huh? What? I
don’t remember that character trait in the first game. She even pulls out the
“by my calculations…” thing…what…what
calculations? You were kidnapped! Then you had Juan’s kids! When’d you go
to college?! I assume that this choice was made because, back when Guacamelee! was released, people were
okay with some female characters being damsels in distress. But, ever since the
singularity or whatever happened, thirteen percent of people decided to demand
that every feminine thing a woman does has to be followed by a masculine thing
to balance it out. Granted, they could’ve given Lupita a shotgun to cock and
thrown all subtlety and likability out the window, but they went the more
acceptable route of just making her understand the complex machinations of
cross-dimensional portal travel. BY WRITING ON A PIECE OF PAPER.
Salvador
 |
| ...*cough*... |
Meh.
He’s
got a nice tragic backstory, but…well, I’ll save my major gripe for GAMEPLAY.
Bad Guys
Oh…yeah…there
were other villains besides Salvador in this game…
Okay…there’s…magician
guy…who has a hilarious moment with Salvador, I’ll give him that…
…then…there’s…skeleton
dog lady?...
…aaaaand
big cactus.
 |
| Yup, they're there all right |
The
villains in this game are really a step down from its predecessor’s. In Guacamelee! we had X’tabay, a ridiculously sexy and surprisingly
complex villainess who fell in love with the main baddy, and Flame Face who had
a flame for a face and was just a hoot and a third. Flame Face actually makes
another debut in this game as a trainer but he’s not as hilarious as in the
first game. Also, in writing my first review of this game, I typed in “Flame
Face” as a placeholder before googling him and finding out that that was,
indeed, his name.
But
yeah, the villains aren’t too strong in this one. X’tabay makes a comeback as a
calm, cool, and collected BORING ANIMAL RESCUE HOSTESS…which, come to think of
it, is humorous in and of itself. Other than that, there are some funny
interactions with the villains, but not anything memorable.
Before I
move on, I want to mention that there’s a character in this game called “Cabezas”
or something (which, contextually, means “head”) who has a massive head and his
only purpose is to be a platform at a certain point in the story.
GAMEPLAY
This
is the absolute selling point of the series. Most of the good things that came
out of this game were carried over from the other, but it feels significantly
less unfair this time around. So the platforming and combat are…well, I’m going
to have to say it: It’s the best platforming and combat I’ve ever witnessed in
a sidescrolling platformer. In other words: It’s the best platforming and
combat on Steam. Heck, it’s better than Dark Souls’s combat (I say before
vomiting profusely at my disloyalty). Every time I ran into an enemy, I never
dreaded doing it. Each and every single fight in this game is fun, and I was
never tempted to quit the game from either boredom or irritation.
The
only way I can confer enough information is if I go through each attack you can
do as Juan. There’s the rooster uppercut, the dash punch, the headbutt (which I
always forgot to do despite its usefulness), and the frog…belly…flop…thing. All
of these are done with the B (or O) on your controller and a direction. And if
you want to have fun with this game, you need a controller. I tried playing Guacamelee! on my keyboard and it was
massively frustrating. I can’t imagine it being any different this time around.
In
addition to the “powers,” you have the ability to grab and throw/suplex enemies
with Y (or triangle) if they’re stunned. You can only learn the suplexing moves
via the upgrade purchase system. Throughout the game, you’ll find characters (one
of whom is utterly random, but you’ll figure that out for yourself) who’ll
unlock specific upgrade columns. If you defeat enemies in a certain way X
amount of times and have enough gold, a new upgrade will unlock that makes
gameplay both easier and more exciting. It’s a great system that directly ties
to gameplay. In addition to THIS, you have the abilities that only factor into
platforming. There’s the double jump (of course), the wall run (where you RUN UP
ANY WALL), the wall…leap? (it’s where you can rocket off from any wall until
you hit another wall), what I like to call the “contextual rubber band nodes,”
and the ability to switch between the land of the living and the land of the
dead. See, some areas in the land of the living might not be accessible unless
you go to the land of the dead. Some platforms might only exist in one of the
realms, and this makes platforming INSANELY challenging. Often times, you’ll be
forced to switch between the land of the living and land of the dead while
doing a myriad of different acrobatic stunts in the perfect sequence in order
to squeeze you through a level, and you can switch between the worlds with the press of the right shouler button instantly. It’s simply fun, challenging, and well-thought
out, and no other game (to my knowledge) has been able to give me platforming
on this level. One of my few gripes are that some of the upgrades in the
upgrade columns aren’t as exciting, like the ones that just make your pre-existing
moves more powerful, and those are a large chunk of the ones available. In
addition, I never felt the need to purchase chicken-related upgrades because I
hated playing as the chicken. I hated it. Forever.
I
guess that brings me into the negatives of the gameplay. One of the areas they
expanded upon was the chicken gameplay. That’s going to sound confusing. In the
first game, you were given the ability to transform into a chicken by Satan.
Sounds bizarre and amazing, of course, but the chicken’s only real gameplay
purpose was to enter smaller areas that Juan couldn’t previously enter as a
human. This time around, they gave the chicken wrestler moves, and the gameplay
with the chicken is just not good. It’s not bad, there were points where I
liked the platforming and combat…but the skills that you unlocked were either flawed
mechanically or useless without contextual environments. The pollo shot especially
got on my bEars. With Juan, your rooster uppercut cuts upwards and to wherever Juan
happens to be facing. With Chicken Juan,
your pollo shot is determined by the direction that you move the analog stick.
Seems like a small nitpick, but I constantly found myself shooting in the wrong
direction and bumping into enemies. At least, this time around, you can fight
enemies with the chicken as opposed to…well, dying.
And,
the biggest problem I have with this game, is the final boss. I loathed the
final boss of Guacamelee! because he
was too hard. I loathed the final
boss in Guacamelee! 2 because he was
INCOMPREHENSIBLY, UNEQUIVOCALLY EASY. My last blow landed on him was from Chicken Juan! It took me less than five
minutes, and I didn’t die ONCE. Salvador (the final boss, obviously, no
spoilers there) was the dude who killed Calaca, right? The same Calaca who wiped
the proverbial (and literal) floor with me for over an hour in Guacamelee!? This made the game really anti-climactic, but I still have
incredibly fond memories of every other part of the game. ESPECIALLY THE
GRAPHICS!
BEAR DENSITY
There are
no bears in this game
SOUNDTRACK
Oh,
wait, we’re talking about SOUNDTRACK now. It’s actually kind of amazing. The
music can get a bit repetitive, but it’s good
mariachi/techno music. A nice little detail that the developers added in was
the fact that, when you switch between the land of the dead and the land of the
living, the music changes from the techno version of the mariachi to the
acoustic version. It’s a lovely little addition that makes the gameplay feel
just that more solid.
GRAPHICS
Holy
guacamole (I typed this before realizing the pun), the graphics are sweet! Satisfying,
quick animations, great lighting, color and scenery contrasts between the land
of the living and land of the dead, bright, beautiful color schemes reminiscent
of Mexican culture, and all running at a consistent sixty frames per second. Well.
Done. My only solitary nitpick is the fact that, whenever I got all the health
or stamina upgrades, the screen would flash in bright, horrifyingly radiant
colors like I was going through the Wonka tunnel with the brightness turned all
the way up. The character design is good, the levels are laid out well, it’s just
a solid art style.
CONCLUSION
If
you don’t buy yourself both this game and Guacamelee!,
you’re doing yourself a disservice. In a world filled with crappy triple-A games
that seem to have an active distaste for members of their own fanbase, garbage
bleep-bloop Dark Souls rip-offs that
confuse the Dark Souls style for
original content that they made new, miserable
bleep-bloop pixel platformers that confuse difficulty for fun, and Dark Souls III, there’ll always be this
shining beacon of people who don’t give a crap about politics or following what’s
trendy, and that’s DrinkBox Studios, the creators of Guacamelee! and Guacamelee! 2.
They wanted to make a fun, colorful, original game with complex platforming and
thrilling combat, and they succeeded on almost every front. It’s going for
twenty dollars on Steam, too, so you’re getting nine hours of great gameplay
for the price of two fast food meals. And I just discovered that there’s this
super-secret ultra good guy ending
that I wasn’t even remotely close to achieving, so you can bet your bottom
dollar that I’m gonna get back in there and see what’s what!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~
Characters: +1 I didn’t
like them as much as I did in Guacamelee!, but they were still solid
Story: +1 It suffered from some mild
anticlimax, but it’s clearly more thought out than its predecessor to some
degree
Gameplay: +2 YUSSSSSSS
Soundtrack: +1 Atmospheric and blends in well with the gameplay
Graphics: +2 Simply lovely and unique
Bear Density: -5
Final
Score: 2/10
What, have
I not sung its praises enough? What’re you still reading this for?! If you want
just some solid, unique, and satisfying gameplay, you’re going to be
hard-pressed to find any game currently on Steam that can deliver as much as
Guacamelee! 2.
No comments:
Post a Comment