Wednesday, January 9, 2019

BREAKING NEWS: A Hypothetical Treachery

That's right, folks! I've come back from my hiatus to voice a single concern I have of some Bethesda business. In case you're wondering, no, I do not have a lucrative job, a hot, right-wing wife, or eight hundred thousand children yet. BUT! Something's come to my knowledge that I cannot ignore!

JEREMY SOULE HASN'T BEEN CONTACTED TO WORK ON THE ELDER SCROLLS VI YET!

...
...
...what? WHAT? I'M WORRIED, OKAY?!

For those who aren't in the know, Jeremy Soule is the sole (Soule hehehe) composer for the Elder Scrolls series since Morrowind, the best game ever created. Here's a snippet of his solo work:

IT'S SO FREAKIN' RELAXING, ATMOSPHERIC, AND IMPERFECTLY IMITABLE!

And yet, Bethesda hasn't reached out to him for TESVI, a game that hasn't even been started yet.

IS THIS A SMALL CONCERN?

Yes. Objectively.

BUT IT'S STILL A CONCERN!

I know this means absolutely nothing because Bethesda hasn't even reeeally started working on TESVI yet, but they haven't necessarily been doing their best recently, so, worrying is somewhat justified.

In less than three months, Bethesda has gone from my absolute favorite company to my most feared. Moreso than EA. Sure, EA will probably shove a gay Krogan in the next Mass Effect game if they don't devour Bioware, and they'll probably take the MORE THAN INFINITE potential of Dragon Age 4 and outsource it to India or something, but the Mass Effect Trilogy ended with a GREAT ENDING NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY and I've accepted that the Dragon Age series has now written itself into the world's most incredible, fantastic, and anticipatory corner with all of the original creative minds who gave us Sten and Wynne jumping ship and leaving us with the "creative" minds who gave us Vivienne, Sera, and every romance option after Morrigan.

...but the Elder Scrolls universe is absolutely PACKED with potential and intrigue, and Bethesda has always strove toward making every entry in the series a completely unique entity. With all of the absolutely reprehensible mistakes that Bethesda's been making (including brainwashing game developer GOD Todd Howard who gave us poor, wretched, unworthy cretins the glorious divine gift that is Morrowind into selling us on Fallout 76 and positivity in the "Games as a Service" model) in addition to downplaying the rpg elements of the series, I'm worried that the series is going to drop dramatically in quality. If Jeremy Soule ain't doin' the music, then it's not going to feel like the continent of Tamriel. It'll feel like Dragon Age: Origins. Because Inon Zur might do the soundtrack instead. BUT SOULE'S THE TAMRIEL GUY! Jeremy Soule?! More like "Jeremriel Soule!" PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, HYPOTHETICAL FEAR OF MINE!

But that's the only real issue I've got with-OH WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT:

TES VI IS RUMORED TO BE NAMED "REDFALL?!"
IMPLYING THAT IT'LL TAKE PLACE IN DAGGERFALL AND HAMMERFELL, WHAT WITH REDGARDS?!
DON'T GIVE US BORING HUMAN PROVINCES, BETHESDA! I WANT MAH ELDER SCROLLS VI: BLACKMARSH, DANGIT! I DON'T CARE IF IT'LL JUST LOOK LIKE ONE GIANT SWAMP, IF I SEE A SINGLE HUMAN BEING IN THE TRAILER, I AIN'T GONNA BUY IT!!!

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